7 Degrees of Segregation

Sweetest thou,
From the cosmos to the Osmos (much like my grade school classmate Osmo Larmi who had a brother named…Joe), I’m here to dig up the earth, filter it through a screen and provide only the finest Dirt available in times like these.

They say there are only 6 degrees of separation between any two people. I hope that’s the case as anyone with a 104.6 degree fever is near seizing. Unfortunately, in my life, I have found, upon occasion, with some regularity, under trying times, with certain levels of reasoning, or lack thereof, or even for no reason at all, that, sometimes (and sometimes not), people, and by that I mean “persons”, tend to, with or without motivation, use, to a varying degree, too many commas.

As long as we are on the topic of proper usage of the tools of written communication I feel compelled to sort out the differences of “there” and it’s homonyms: They’re over there with their dog, Thare. There!

As a man I’ve never been able to differentiate the disparities of the varieties that span the floral spectrum. Petunia this, hydrangea that and everything in between. They seem to employ all of the Seven Dwarfs (which I would rather spell “Dwarves”).
1) Sleepy…yes, flowers cause me to become a bit drowsy. What with the sorting through the various cookie-cutter bouquets at the local supermarket. It’s exhausting.
2) Sneezy…obviously my seasonal allergies are triggered by each flower’s reproductive material.
3) Dopey…think poppyseed.
4) Doc…my family practitioner seems quite pleased to charge me for my visits during allergy season.
5) Stuffy Head…Sneezy’s conjoined twin.
6) Fever…covered in the degrees of separation segment.
7) Soyu Canrest Medicine…I’ve never known exactly how he fits in with the other Dwarfs but I’m certain that his whistling is exemplary.

The man who said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” was very brave…until I gave him a puppy…and named it “Fear”.
Thank you for your patronage…and at Christmas thank you for your partridge.

Endearment,
Dirt